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My Political Column

I am writing this on U.S. presidential election night.

We are convinced these truths are painfully obvious.

OK, so there are several things I already knew, and some I found out, about our general election. Here are my 10 candid observations about this untidy, chaotic, childish and churlish election year:

  1. Do you really believe any of these glib, wing-it-as-they-go candidates are going to accomplish anything they promise?
  2. Do you think the new Prez will actually be able to work on anything with billions of dollars from lobbyist organizations dictating law and order and everything we try to do, or not do, in this country?
  3. I read the paper today and was trying to determine if I was in the red or blue portions of the state and region. I am supposed to be either, I suppose, a red Republican or a blue Democrat. Actually, I just feel pretty blue.
  4. Every presidential election since the beginning of my time on earth has involved voting for whoever is the opposite of whoever is in office.
  5. Does it matter if Daffy Duck is president or, the dudes on my favorite bumper-sticker of all time, ZZTop?
  6. I am going to write-in Ralph Whelan, private secretary to Lord Willingdon, Viceroy of India, in the hill station of Simla, from the excellent PBS TV series, “Indian Summers.” If their sahib, Mr. Whelan, was running for president, just on strength of character, he would get my vote in less than a second.
  7. I am thinking of the wasted paper and metal used in all the tacky yard signs, most of which will end up in a landfill somewhere. What a colossal waste of resources over absolutely nothing.
  8. On voting day, all the retired people clog the roads and get in the way of people who actually have to go to work. With all the fanfare and misery associated with this day, it should be declared a national holiday.
  9. Remember, we are an oligarchy and with any of these dudes elected, to an oligarchy we shall return.
  10. So what in Samhain is the purpose of a presidential election, anyway? Anybody feeling any better?
  11. There is something seriously wrong with the electoral college. What is the purpose of asking people to vote, when, at latest count, two million of them don’t matter? Why vote? Why don’t you ask the 49 percent of the public that won’t bother, thinking, the electoral college is probably bought off anyway.
  12. We need a third party in the system, a system for the rest of us.

Andrew M. Andrews